致命的大錯(cuò)

    "finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."

    "qualifications: no education or experience."

    "i am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."

    "my compensation should be at least equal to my age."

    "reason for leaving: it had to do with the irs, fbi and sec."

    "fired because i fought for lower pay."

    "size of employer: very tall, probably over 6"5" .

    " "please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."

    "reason for leaving: my boss said the end of the world is near."

    "reason for leaving: the owner gave new meaning to the word "paranoia." i prefer to elaborate privately."

    打字錯(cuò)誤與語法錯(cuò)誤

    "here are my qualifications for you to overlook."

    "strengths: ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

    "i am a rabid typist."

    "work history: performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."

    "after receiving advice from several different angels, i have decided to pursue a new line of work."

    "accounting cleric."

    "as indicted, i have over five years of experience analyzing investments."

    "suspected to graduate early next year."

    "disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."

    "proven ability to track down and correct erors."

    "accomplishments: oversight of entire department."

    "am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."

    "accomplishments: completed 11 years of high school."

    不應(yīng)有的幽默

    "note: keep this resume on top of the stack. use all others to heat your house."

    "assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (translation: short-order cook.)

    "but wait...there"s more. you get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."

    "i have an excellent track record, although i am not a horse."

    "my fortune cookie said, "your next interview will result in a job"-and i like your company in particular."

    "title: another resume from the "profiles in excellence" series."

    "also known as: mr. productivity, mr. clever, mr.fix-it."

    "trustworthy references available upon request-if i give them a few bucks."

    "let"s meet so you can "ooh" and "ahh" over my experience."

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